Health and Happiness
I went from feeling perfectly fine, to absolutely ill in a matter of a few hours. I had no warning, but suddenly chills, fever, and a lot of pain settled into my body and made itself right at home. I couldn’t understand it, and immediately sought aid.
Which, now has me on the mend. No, this isn’t about being ill, I’m literally sick of talking about that to strangers. This entry is about yesterday, I didn’t feel great but I was so tired of not being able to leave my home, let alone my room. So, I scooped dog up, packed some snacks, and ventured out to Horsetooth Reservoir. Where the boulders are close by, generally pretty vacant, and right by beautiful views!
It was good for the soul. as last time I had felt timid about most everything, and gotten intimidated on low grades. This trip, I had no expectations, just determined to stay positive and just be happy to be outside. After four days of just laying in bed, waking up in twenty minute increments every four hours, I expected not to be able to start much of anything, but I did way more than I planned for. I flashed the warm up problems that I had thought were too tall before, and brushed it off as being more afraid of getting blown off in the wild wind with only one tiny pad. I went around to a problem that I had gotten frustrated with and didn’t think I could do, and in a few goes, heaved myself over the top. I stopped worrying about taking stupid instagram photos, getting videos of sends, and I just stopped caring about anything else but having fun. I explored around some problems that I had no idea what grades they were, some were moderately easy, others hella hard, and I didn’t really care that I was falling anymore.
Not to say I finally broke the fear, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I just didn’t care in that instance because I had the place to myself.
But I spent the past two weeks crying about getting weak, getting frustrated watching people progress while I felt like I was getting worse, that I forgot how much FUN I have climbing. I told myself at the beginning of the year I’d stop getting caught up in grade pushing, and I’ve decided now I don’t even want to know what I’m trying, just to pull on some rock, and enjoy the process.
P.S. Now that I’m feeling a little better, hope to see you out there!