giving thanks

photo courtesy of @rokksmedia

photo courtesy of @rokksmedia

I saved this post for a few days later, because I wanted to make a thankfulness blog. No advertisements, no recommendations, suggestions, or workouts. Just pure, honest, me. So, apologies for the delay, but thank you for your continued support and taking interest in the words I piece together each week.

This is still my favorite photo climbing because this was my first real time touching rocks, first time I ever tried hard, this was the first time I wasn’t worried about who was there but what I was doing…this was the first time I ever truly felt peace.

This trip lead to some major heartaches over the next year, from small things like grade pushing and on-again/off-again relationships, to larger things like suicidal depression over child loss. If it weren’t for this trip I wouldn’t have the respect that I do for outdoor safety, I wouldn’t have had my heart broken to the point that I saw actions before appearances, and I wouldn’t have started this blog that essentially gave me a career in something I’m truly passionate about. Yeah, I know, I snuck a grenade in there, keep reading.

I am so thankful for climbing, all the good and the bad it has brought to my life. Over the past few years I have experienced fear, rage, defeat, and learned perseverance through it all, I’ve discovered how physically and emotionally strong I truly am, from breaking my back to being awake through an abortion I was against in the first place, from one minute looking forward to the trip the next day to the next wondering if I’d even be alive that night, going from being surrounded by plenty of friends to spending an entire year in isolation. I’ve been in gyms that were my safe haven at one time to a living hell the next. I’ve learned that the climbing community is just another community all the same, life threatening situations or not, people are good and kind just the same as they are malicious and vindictive. But the thing that doesn’t change is the climb itself. There’s always something there to push you harder than you thought you were capable of, to get you out of your headspace when it’s saying to just end it all now, something to make you so drained mentally and physically that you forget the world around you.

Because of climbing I’ve moved to one of the most beautiful and fulfilling places I’ve ever been, I’ve done some things I never thought I’d be capable of, and I’ve met some of the most amazing, talented people I could ever imagine. I’ve had my faith tested and seen God’s glory all in the same day. My best friends became roommates, and then family. I’ve faced some fears, and discovered some new ones. I’ve been challenged and survived. I’ve gone almost an entire year now without hurting myself, and a little over since I’ve tried to kill myself. I’ve learned to accept love again, and recently it’s a giddy feeling. All of it is, really. I’m excited to see what I’m capable of, where I’ll end up, and who will be there. Hopefully, you stick around for the journey too.

Thankful for you, for listening/reading. the things and places this blog has allowed me to do and see, and for all that will come. God Bless.

 
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Stay Positive,

Xoxo

KariDane Matlock